You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
