I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
