Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
