Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
