Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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