Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got inside last night via doggy door
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
