BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
