so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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