Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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