By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize