my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
