come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
