there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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