Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
