VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
