i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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