Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
