yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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