Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
