Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
