Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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