Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
