i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
