Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
