On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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