I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
