Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
