So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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