I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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