rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
