you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
