Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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