at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
