i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He better not be in your backpack
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
