There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
