My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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