so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
