Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
