seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
