I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
