Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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