hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
