tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
