Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
