and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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