just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
