he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
whose parrot is this?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
