Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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