Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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