hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize