dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
