well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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