There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
