This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She told me I should be a condom model.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
