i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
