Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
