On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize