She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Randomize
