So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
