i think my tv is drunk
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
