Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
