come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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