The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
