haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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