Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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