This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
