I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
