I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
