Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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