Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
