he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
