nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
