Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize