I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
