I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I FOUND THE LEGS
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
