would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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