where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
