you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
