how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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